Smiles and Tears

We are blessed with smiles on our lips and tears in our eyes. Yes, you read that right. Both smile & tears are a blessing to us which lets us express our feelings. Smile comes out naturally and so does tears. Do you ever control your smiles for any reason? No right? Then what makes you control your tears sometimes? Its nature's way of expressing things. When you are happy, your lips smile... when you are sad, your eyes bleed. 

But often, we throw fake smiles onto our lips, and we hide our tears beneath, thus going against nature. God has given us tears to express ourselves, not to suppress it. So when you are hurt, don't hold back, just shed a few and lighten your heart.

Don't hide your tears, don't put on a fake smile. Be yourself at least with the ones you love. Crying doesn't mean that your are weak. Laughter need not necessarily mean that you are happy. So, take that mask off and see how it makes you feel much better from inside.

Cherish Life

The tiny digital clock read 5:15 a.m. She was lying on the bed still half asleep. She hugged the pillow next to her imagining it to be her husband. She longed it really was her husband and not merely a pillow. But he was gone forever. It was already a month after the tragedy. She was not convinced yet that it was all for real. The untimely death of her husband still seemed like a bad dream.

She couldn't sleep. She woke up and prepared 2 cups of coffee as usual. One for her and one for her dead husband. She almost forgot that he wasn't there. Wiping her tears, realizing that he is no more, she placed the extra cup of coffee in front of her husband's photo, not knowing what else to do.

Some days she would cook extra food for her dead husband. She would sometimes order two meals at the take-away counter without realizing that she now needs only one. During weekends, she would forget to cook, because it was he who always cooked on Saturdays. At times, she would keep the door wide open at dusk, expecting her husband would return from work as always. At every step, she almost made everything for her non-existent husband. Accepting the death of her husband had become impossible for her. She had almost lost her mind. She wished that her non-existent husband would come back to life. She wanted him to exist. She could feel the pain in her throat, in her chest. Her heart ached. She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, but she was unable to do so. Her hands became stiff, she couldn't move.

Suddenly she woke up, unable to breathe. She had a hot flush. She could hear her husband snoring lightly next to her. It was a nightmare, she consoled herself. She saw the clock. It was 5:15 a.m, just like in her dream. She got off the bed and came to the balcony to get some fresh air. Suddenly, she could relate to everything. She clearly got the meaning of it.

. . . .

The couple had an argument 2 days back over a silly matter, and that was enough for them to stop talking to each other. They did not exchange smiles, no chit-chats, nothing. No "Good Morning", no "hi", no "bye". She almost treated him like he did not exist, and so did he. In the morning, she would prepare breakfast for herself and ignore him altogether. He would leave to office without a word.  In the evening, she would sip her coffee all by herself. At night, though it was his task to make the bed, he would just clean his portion, leaving all the mess on her side.

She wanted him to become non-existent. Even if he was right in front of her... she acted like he wasn't there. She ignored him. She gave him a deaf ear. She did all her daily routines like he doesn't even exist. 

As a matter of fact, just the opposite happened in her dream. He was dead in her dream, She wanted him to come to life. She did her daily routine like he existed, right beside her. She yearned that he once again came to life.

She felt very sorry for what was happening. She realized that they did not cherish their relationship enough. When in anger, she always thought that he did not exist. And in her dreams, she wanted her dead husband to still exist. 

"Better ignore his mistakes, than to ignore him... altogether" she thought and went back to bed, gently squeezed his nose so that he stop snoring, hugged him lightly and felt warm when he hugged her back. It was as easy as that.  

Through her dream, she learnt a lesson for life. Cherish the ones you have in your life, because you never know when they won't be around anymore. 

Appy Halwa

There were plenty of apples lying in the fruit basket at my home and I didn't know what to do with them. That's when I suddenly recalled the yummy halwa I had at one my my friend's place. It was not the right time to call her and check the recipe. So I simply tried it my own way and it did come out well. I love this simple and healthy halwa. My kids love it too. Thanks to my friend Priya for introducing this simple and yummy dish to me.

Ingredients:
Green/Red Apples - 4 (Grated)
Milk - 1 cup
Milk powder - 4 spoons (optional)
Sugar - 1 cup
Ghee - few spoons
A handful of dry nuts - Cashew/raisins/almond

Method:

• Take a thick bottomed pan and pour 3 spoons of ghee.
• Once it is hot, put the grated apples and stir. After a minute, add a cup of milk to it. With occasional stirring, cook them for around 12-15 minutes on medium-low flame. 
• Once they are all cooked add sugar and mix well. 
• At this point you may add milk powder if you wish to enhance its taste. Mix the milk powder with very little water and pour it into the pan. Cook further for about 5 minutes. Keep stirring.
• Add few more spoons of ghee when you notice that the halwa is almost done. You will see that the halwa comes out clean without getting stuck to the pan when you add ghee. Turn off the flame.
• Roast dry nuts/fruits of your choice in ghee and garnish them on top of your halwa. I added cashew, almond, raisins and figs.

Your halwa is now ready to be served. I love it chilled. My husband loves it hot. Try it the way you want and enjoy your yummy halwa.

I am EVERYTHING

As a kid, I was pampered, I was loved, I was taken care of like a little gem by my parents. I meant everything to my mom. She treated me truly like a princess. Not just then,.. even now I am the same little princess in front of her eyes. Probably back then, I was EVERYTHING to her. And yes, she was EVERYTHING to me. I remember instances of my childhood days when I cried imagining how life would be without her. Others' tragic stories of losing their parents would bring chills down my spine. Indeed, she was my world.

Then I grew up, saw the world around. At some point of time, started seeking out for that special one who would be my EVERYTHING. I wanted to be someone's world. As time flew, I did find my man. We got married, And yes.. he was EVERYTHING to me. I was EVERYTHING to him.

I saw my mom getting me married off with pride and laughter and smiles. But at the same time, her heart would have ached to let go off me. I never realized it back then, not completely yet. But definitely, it needs a lot of strength to lose a part of your world to someone and yet keep smiling.

Days passed by, and then months, years. Me and my husband were busy making a world of our own. Time flew, and then the most beautiful thing happened. I call it the "miracle of life". Yes, seeing a "mini-you" in front of you, with tender hands, toes and a tiny body is truly a miracle. Sweet little babies, they have magic within them. Without ever giving a try, they just become your new world. 

I never realized when and how, but now I see that my little ones are my EVERYTHING and I am EVERYTHING to them. Anything goes wrong, anything tiniest of all, the first person that my kids cry out for is ME. I feel so special to be someone's world. Yes! over time, I have moved out of my mom's world, I have let my husband drift away in his own world and now I'm totally immersed in my kids' world. I sense a feeling of satisfaction, pride and fulfillment in being their EVERYTHING.

Time waits for none. A few years from now, I am sure, my little birdies will grow and start exploring the world and would want to move out of their nest. They will seek for someone who will be their EVERYTHING. Will that hurt me? I am unsure. But when I have momentarily dumped my mom and husband, I too deserve that same pain. It wont hurt too long I am sure... because I am a MOM after all, a STRONG MOM.

There is still a long way to see them create their new world, until then I just want to hold on to this moment and feel happy being EVERYTHING to them. 

Oops! Kids are pulling me back into their world. Sorry mom, sorry hubby and sorry to all my loved ones for not giving enough time to you. I am a MOM after all, a BUSY MOM, a very very busy one! [sigh]

And yes, hope my hobby of blogging gets back to life with this new post. 
Gotta go.o.o.o... 

Dry nuts Modka/Karigadbu

Ganesha festival's must-have is modka and karigadbu. It was mom's suggestion to make it healthier by adding dry nuts to the fillings. 

Here's a quick recipe of it...

Dough:

Maida: 2 bowls

Few spoons of ghee

Salt to taste

A pinch of soda

Water

Filling:

Dry nuts of ur choice: almond, pista, walnut: half bowl (coarsely powdered)

A handful of Raisins

Kadlepappu: powdered 3 spoons

Dried coconut gratings: 1 bowl

Sugar: 1 bowl

Elachi: 2-4 for added flavor

Frying:

Sufficient oil for frying

• Mix the filling ingredients together and keep it aside as shown in below picture. 
• Mix the dough by adding water and bring it to a consistency little harder than poori. 
• Make small balls and flatten them using a rolling pin(almost the size of poori).
• Fill the flattened dough with dry-nuts-filling and seal them to desired shape.
• Deep fry until they turn golden brown.

They are now ready to be served.

Teacher's Day

Ritvi's first Teacher's Day this is! She started her school (child care actually) around 8 months back.

Her teacher has helped her all this while... teaching new stuffs - be it in language, music, crafts, manners... indeed just a few to name. She has helped rikki craft wonderful arts and sent us surprises often on special occasions like mom's/ dad's day.

Now it was my turn to present her wonderful teacher, something in return, as a token of appreciation.  So I decided to prepare a greeting card with rikki. I came up with this.

I didn't expect it to come out this well. It brought back my school days' memory and both of us had good time crafting it. Well Rikki did enjoy tearing and rolling the bits of paper and I did enjoy chiding her away everytime she tried to grab the completed flowers. Haha.

Challenge time for Mommy

Mummy - busy having dinner...
Daddy - absconding...
Baby - busy in her own world...

Dinner plate in one hand... countless thoughts running on my mind, I chew my food in a hurry. Rikki comes running towards me and pushes Jumbo* onto me. I hold him with my left hand. Then she pushes Jumbo's shoes toward me. I manage to grab it. She demands me to put on the shoes to jumbo. OK. I love challenges. No problem I say, and manage to tuck in Jumbo's foot into the tiny shoes with one hand.

Then, she gives me her comb. Then a small band. That's no big deal. I take it from her.

Now its something like this. One hand is messy with food. With the other hand, I manage to hold Jumbo, put on his shoes, also took the comb and the band.
OK. Its circus time now guys!

Next, Rikki asks me to tie her hair with the band. I manage to fool her and pretend to have tied.

Its not over yet.

She then raises both her hands and asks me to carry her.
She even threatens me with her screams.

Show some mercy girl. I have only two hands!!!

An attempt to catch her actions and expressions!

Moms should be blessed with ten hands. Two are just not sufficient.

On second thoughts, I think moms should be blessed with ten husbands, at least one will come running for help. When I said this to Adi, he did come running toward me... not for help or anything close to that. You can guess why! :) :) 

*Jumbo is her cute little big soft toy - an elephant! :)